I'm gonna do what you shouldn't have too and commit my self to watching the entire season 8 of 24. Heroics aside, I'm going to point out the stupidity of the show on a weekly basis and prove that monkeys directed by Michael Bay can make a better television show.

"Another season? I'm gonna need to ask my doctor about Prozac"

Monday, February 1, 2010

Episode the Fourth

I would've done a post for the first three episodes, but I was too busy dealing with other trivial things like drinking lots of beer and watching Avatar. Avatar, by the way is the telling story of a guy who goes to a culture that is completely new and forbidden for him, he is first skeptical, but then realizes he truly loves his new life and fuck his old life. He then proceeds to betray his true people by fucking them up, which is not at all like any other movie ever made

Not at all.

I'll recap the first three pretty quick:

-Jack's kid has a kid who brings out Jacks inner kid

-The regis philbin, Slumdog Millionare edition, guy almost dies then doesn't

-Chloe is stupid now, and her way-to-hot-to-be-working-in-computers boss is straight owning her ass at work (I sure hope some old guy from her past doesn't show up and completely fuck up her life in a span of 4 minutes)

"Will you please de-frag the hard drive and run a diagnostic?"
"Uh, What?"

-Cherry Jones is still president despite sending her kid to Prison and her one being murdered. That wouldn't faze me either

-There's a black guy running CTU, finallllllllllly

-Freddie prince jr. is a bad ass, kinda its assumed but all he's done is let 6 men die

-Pakistan Regis banged a white journalist, apparently he's the blackest guy on the show

-Said regis's brother tries to kill him

-Said regis's brother looks nothing at all like Jason Schwartzman

Nothing at all

-In order to prove 24 women are strong, Chloe and Katee (her boss) stand up to their black boss. 1 step for women

-Katee Sackhoff's, boyfriend comes back to town and is a total douchebag and we hate him, but as not much as we hate Katee for wasting Jack Bauer time, and not nearly as much as women hate Fox for allowing such an outdated, sexist storyline to happen without any concern. - 5 steps for women

-Renee comes back, is an awful combination of emo/scarred/depressed/smelly

-She immediately goes undercover into some Russians, and starts it by cutting of some dudes hand. yay, 24

-Cherry Jones says some stuff about arms agreements, nobody cares.

Tonight's episode: 2-1-10

Tonight's waste of an hour was brought to us by NBC since they play Heroes in this timeslot which is the only show on earth worse than 24

The Deep End is also pretty atrocious

Renee doesn't get shot, but she totally wanted it
Jack is being Jack: Classic with incessant, even bitchy demands that Renee isn't ready, she's not ready, she sucks
Again, giant step for women everywhere

Chloe's boss is getting hit on, heavily by her ex and by some data tech guy...both of which the audience cares about so much since we've known these characters for so long and can't wait to see them happy

There's some story about Russian brothers who are poisoned, this storyline is stupid except for the fact that the Russian father/Mafia boss is played by the Grandad from Beerfest

I dare you to take the season seriously again

Regis--Pakistan edition becomes the eastern, non-white dictator us Americans know he is deep-down, and starts arressting everybody. Again, we really really care about this story line

im quite sure nothing serious happened this episode and it was meant to build something up, something totally fucking stupid, undoubtably.


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